Anarchy’s Restaurant Rant

at around evening time on Monday, the 2nd of January 2006 by Anarchy

Being the father of 3, I dread going to restaurants. You might ask… Why? Children tough to control? No. Don’t need the expense? No. So why? I shall explain.

The majority of restaurants I have encountered over the last year seem to be under the illusion that all families consist of 4 members. Daddy, Mommy, Brother, and Sister… or some similar combination. Perhaps this is true for the majority of the world… but some of us are a bit different.

In the future when I take my family to a restaurant, I would greatly appreciate just a little thought and consideration by the staff. To those employees working at the various restaurants, let me state that I understand what you’re going through. I’ve worked for 2 restaurants in my past, and I know what you endure. I’m not just b|tching at you because I got lousy service. I’m b|tching because I can’t stand being given little (or even less) consideration because my family doesn’t neatly fit into the traditional mold.

When my family arrives at a restaurant, we immediately announce to the hostess how many seats we will require.

Let’s add it up… Me + Wife + 3 Children = 5. FIVE!!!!

At this point, the hostess immediately directs us to a booth. 99% of the restaurant booths on this planet are only big enough for 4 people. I request a bigger table. The hostess informs me that they can have another chair brought over so someone can sit in the isle. I don’t want my children sitting in the isle where people can bump into them… and I sure as hell don’t want to sit there myself. It’s not necessary.

Let’s look around the room… not 10 feet away is a larger table that could seat up to 8 or 10 people… but it’s empty. The staff seems to think that some huge party of diners are going to arrive at any moment and they must leave these booths open. This happens EVERY DAMN TIME!

So now I have to get hostile with the hostess, and INSIST on a larger table. It’s at this point that the 20-something little princess hostess seems to think that she has more power over the situation than I do. She tells me that I can’t have the larger table and will have to make do.

Well… guess what? It’s at this point I’m calling for her boss. The manager now has to waste his time to come out to the front and listen to me rant on about being considerate to the needs of the patrons… and Miss Pretty-Hostess is getting an earful as well. And what else? Now I’m p|ssed off before I even sit down… and the waitstaff is going to need to work even harder to impress me now.

I can’t speak for the head of every larger family in the US, but I can tell you that when I enjoy my service… I tend to tip HEAVY. When I’m given considerations for the size of my family and our dining needs… I really appreciate it. Most people do the math to leave the standard 15% (or less). I start my tipping at around 20% (giving them the benefit of the doubt) and adjust from there. It may sound excessive… but on one occassion I was so impressed with the service that I dropped a $30 tip for a $65 meal. Yes… nearly 50%. However, when I sit down to meal… already angry… then you can bet that my tip will reflect my mood.

If I were my waitress… then I’d be looking to give the hostess a good swift kick in the a$$.

So what happened?

We got our bigger table… we always do. However, it’d be nice if I could get that table without giving myself additional stress and headache. That’d be worth a few extra dollars to me.