The Rules. Now pay attention.
around lunchtime on Friday, the 9th of December 2005 by Chad
OK, its time to teach EVERYONE how to drive. 10 simple rules.
- Hang up the cell phone. It makes you drive like a bitch.
- Keep right except to pass means… if you are not actively passing someone to the right of you, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG LANE. An exception is for people turning left, but this does not mean you get in the left lane 14 miles before your turn. And if you are so proud of yourself that you are doing the speed limit in the left lane, that only means you are obeying ONE of the rules of the road, not all of them. So you are still wrong.
- Hang up the cell phone. It makes you drive like a bitch.
- If in the next couple hundred yards you will not be in the same exact lane you are currently in, this means you need to have a turn signal on. Moving from one lane to another, merging into traffic, making turns all fall under this rule.
- Hang up the cell phone. It makes you drive like a bitch.
- The big triangle sign marked YIELD means this: if you can pull into traffic without any other car being affected by slowing down or moving out of the way, then you may proceed. If you are going to be cutting off another driver who has the right away by pulling in front of them, then you screwed up.
- Hang up the cell phone. It makes you drive like a bitch.
- If you feel the need to read the newspaper, smack your kids, or apply makeup while driving, then you need to go home, get your title, drive back to the car dealer, and turn it all in. You’re too stupid to be allowed to drive.
- Hang up the cell phone. It makes you drive like a bitch.
- Oh yeah… if you’re talking on a cell phone, then you are driving like a bitch. You aren’t paying attention to where the other cars are. And for some dumbass reason, this usually makes you break rules 2, 4, and 6 constantly. You need to follow the same advice given in rule #8.
Linked To: Wizbang, Stop the ACLU, Samantha Burns, Mudville, and Point Five. Because the world needs to know.
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December 9th, 2005 at 2:01 pm
How about…
Don’t wait until the last minute to get merge into the exit lane! The rest of us have been waiting in line patiently, and you’re no better than the rest of us. Try to jump in front of me at the last moment, and I’ll drive into the side of your vehicle!
I’m warm and fuzzy today…
December 30th, 2005 at 10:10 am
[...] We covered the Rules for driving a few posts back. Seems that teaching people what they should have learned in driver’s ed but didn’t because the teacher had tinted windows in his car and always smelled of Jack Daniels is finally catching on. WikiHow has a post on “How to Avoid Annoying Other Drivers” You are driving between a mechanical device meant to explode the contents of the most lethal fluid around, sitting behind you, built by the cheapest bidder. It is in your best interest to pay attention when operating a motor vehicle and to think. [...]